Tabloid Star Page 9

  Ryan’s laughter filled the vehicle. “God, yes. I think I hit him in the head with a shovel while we were playing in the sandbox at pre-school. It was the start of a beautiful friendship.”

  “What did he do?”

  “Probably stole something from me. He’s an instigator and loves to cause trouble. I’ve been in more bar fights because of him and his mouth.”

  “I’m not surprised. Is he gay as well?” He thought of the red head Bill was determined to pick up the other night. “Or bi?”

  Ryan shook his head. “No. Bill is as straight as an arrow, but trust me, he doesn’t let that get in the way of asking me all about my sex life. For a heterosexual male, he certainly is interested in what goes on between two guys.”

  “Sounds like he’s a great friend.”

  Antonio did his best to be there for Josh, but there were parts of Josh’s life he couldn’t talk to his best friend about. Growing up in the barrio, he learned to keep secrets because certain things could have gotten him killed.

  “I sometimes think there’s something wrong with him. He’s so open-minded that it floors me at times. When I finally came out to him, he laughed, slapped me on the shoulder and decided we needed to get me laid.” Ryan took a sip of his soda. “You should have heard some of the suggestions he came up with.”

  “I can just imagine.” Josh smirked to himself. “So when did you get fucked for the first time?”

  He handed Ryan napkins after the man spit his soda all over the steering wheel.

  “Warn a guy next time before you say something like that.” Ryan glared at him before pitching the wet napkins back at him.

  “Where would the fun be in that?” Josh reached over and squeezed Ryan’s knee. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

  “Nah…it’s okay. I was just surprised is all. I waited until I went away to college. Bill and I went to Ohio University. We’re from a small town in Ohio where being gay is the best way to either get your ass kicked or lose every friend you thought you had. So I chose to stay silent except for Bill. I never could keep a secret from him.”

  “Did you top or bottom your first time?”

  He really didn’t know why he was asking all these questions. The only person he ever talked this intimately with was Rachel and it wasn’t usually about sex.

  “I topped the first time I had sex with a guy.” Ryan didn’t seem bothered by the questions. “I liked it well enough, but the second time, when I bottomed, I found out what I liked best about sex with guys.”

  He waited until Ryan swallowed the bite of hamburger the man had taken. “What was that?”

  Ryan blushed and didn’t say anything for a minute. Had he insulted the man by asking? Josh opened his mouth to say something, but Ryan spoke up.

  “I like being filled and if the guy’s bigger than me, I like the feeling of being held.” Ryan hunched his shoulders like he expected Josh to laugh at him.

  He thought about it for a moment and then he caressed Ryan’s arm. “I get it. I never learned how to top from the bottom, so I never enjoyed getting fucked. I think you’ve figured out I like to be in control.”

  “I never would have guessed that.” Ryan shot him a wink.

  “My first time was when I was sixteen. I snuck down to WeHo from my house in the barrio. I knew if any of my friends found out about me, I would be dead. The gang that ran my neighborhood didn’t take kindly to anyone who was different, especially gays.” Josh grimaced at the memory of his first time.

  “Not a good experience?”

  “No. I probably should have waited until I could find someone I cared about and all that bullshit, but I was horny and being with girls did nothing for me. It didn’t even take the edge off.”

  Ryan nodded. “I’ve been with a few girls while I was trying to figure out exactly what I wanted, but it didn’t do anything for me either. Not like a good-looking stud with a fat cock.”

  His leer heated Josh’s face. God, he hadn’t blushed in years and now he’d done it twice because of this man. Reaching over, Ryan took his hand and squeezed.

  “Just say thank you and I’ll try not to embarrass you anymore. Have you ever had a serious relationship?”

  Regret flared in Josh for a second. “No. By the time I could admit out loud which side I played for, I had to take care of Erin and Pedro. Working three jobs really discourages serious relationships. Most guys like having time to spend with their boyfriends and I’ll always have Erin to worry about.”

  “I understand. Family has to come first. I haven’t had to worry about that yet since I’m the youngest and my sister’s married to a great guy. They still live in my home town right next to my parents.” Ryan checked the rearview before pulling into the other lane. “I had one boyfriend in college. He was only the third guy I slept with. Bobby was a great guy, but he wanted to travel the world and I was interested in acting. We parted as friends and he e-mails me every once in a while.”

  A strange jolt of jealousy raced through Josh. Why would he be jealous of a boyfriend Ryan had way before they’d even met? Maybe it was the fondness with which Ryan spoke of Bobby. Did any of Josh’s one-night stands remember him with a smile?

  “Why acting?” He shied away from the depressing thoughts of missed relationships.

  “I guess I figured out I was good at pretending to be someone I wasn’t. Acting comes easy to me. It’s all the other shit that goes with it that I don’t like. I hate talking about myself to reporters who don’t really care what your favorite color is or who you idolized growing up.”

  Josh crumbled up his wrappers and stuffed them in the bag, gathering Ryan’s trash as well. Checking the GPS, he realized they had another five hours to go before they arrived at Erin’s house.

  “Tell me about this movie, Luther is King. I’ve heard some great things about it.”

  Josh hit on the perfect topic to keep the conversation going as Ryan’s face lit up and the actor started talking about the script. He relaxed into his seat, ready to listen for however long Ryan wanted to talk.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Ryan turned into the driveway leading up to a small one-story ranch. The headlights of his car swept over the flower-lined front porch and he smiled at the bright colors caught in the lights. He parked the car and turned it off. Josh stopped him before he climbed out.

  “Hang out here while I go and check around. I want to make sure that reporter’s gone before you get out. Don’t want any more pictures.”

  The porch light came on as soon as the car door shut. A petite slender dark-haired woman stepped out, her hand resting on the head of the most vicious-looking dog Ryan had ever seen.

  Josh hugged the woman whom Ryan assumed was Erin. He called the dog to him and the two of them strolled around the perimeter of the lawn.

  Erin came down the steps and walked over to Ryan’s side of the vehicle. Climbing out, he stayed where he was, sensing Erin needed to approach him. She stopped a few feet away, twisting the hem of her shirt with her fingers.

  While waiting for Erin to speak, he tracked Josh’s progress. They were headed toward them when Erin took a breath and smiled.

  “Thank you for driving my brother up here.”

  “It’s the least I can do since the whole thing is kind of my fault.” He spoke softly and smiled.

  Fragility shaded Erin’s voice and face. She wore worry like an old familiar sweater, wrapped tight around her and held onto with fierce determination. He didn’t want to do anything that might cause her to break.

  She frowned. “Your fault?”

  Josh joined them and Ryan got his first clear look at the dog. It was a mottled brown with a squat muscular build. Its square head and board chest were covered with scars.

  “Let me introduce you to Zorro.”

  He took Josh’s hand and let the man lead him to Zorro. The dog sniffed his fingers, watching him with intelligent brown eyes.

  “Is he a pit bull?”

  �
��Yes, and an ex-fighting dog. When I left my husband, Josh brought Zorro to protect Pedro and me. He’s my son’s best friend.” Erin glanced at Josh. “Is he gone?”

  “It looks like it. Let’s go in and I’ll introduce you two.”

  Josh slung an arm around his sister’s shoulder and kept a hold of Ryan’s hand. They went inside.

  Zorro trotted down the hallway and disappeared into a back room. Ryan took off his shoes and hung back near the door, not wanting to force himself on Erin. It was her house and she had to make the decision of how far she was going to let him in.

  “Come in and sit. Would you like something to drink? I have juice, water and milk. I could make coffee if you wanted some.”

  “Water would be fine.”

  “I’ll get it, Erin. You need to sit and relax. How is Pedro?” Josh gestured for Ryan to sit in the living room.

  “He finally fell asleep an hour ago. It took me that long to calm him down.”

  Erin sat in one of the chairs and Ryan sat across from her. She studied him in the light. He let her look and confusion showed in her dark eyes.

  “Erin, this is Ryan Kellar. He’s the man I was kissing in the photos that started this whole thing.”

  Josh handed him his water. Taking a sip, he enjoyed the shocked look on her face.

  “Ryan Kellar?” Disbelief colored her words.

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Well, I always did say you got the good-taste-in-men genes in the family, Josh,” Erin teased her big brother.

  Ryan grinned as Josh’s ears turned red. He chuckled.

  “I thought I was the one with great taste when I let him pick me up. Little did I know some guy seems to have made it his life’s goal to document my more private moments.” Ryan shook his head.

  Her gaze grew more assessing as he spoke. He met her eyes.

  “I’m sorry for any trouble this situation has caused you, ma’am. Believe me, I had nothing to do with this.”

  “Neither did my brother, Mr. Kellar.” Erin’s conviction of her brother’s innocence shone in her voice. “No matter how much money he may need, Josh would never ruin someone else’s career or life like that.”

  He nodded. “I realized that after a bottle of whiskey, some anger and some hurt.”

  “And after you punched me,” Josh pointed out, coming over to sit next to him.

  Leaning against him, Ryan grinned. “True, but that punch didn’t even faze you. I must not be as tough as I thought.”

  Josh encircled his waist with one arm, letting him rest more of his weight on him. Ryan’s cheeks warmed as Erin took in just how comfortable they seemed to be with each other.

  Why was he embarrassed? It was Josh’s sister and she knew her brother was gay. As much as his mind screamed at him to move away, he didn’t. He’d done some thinking on the way up while Josh slept. The public didn’t need to know what he did during his personal time, but if he didn’t want to lose any more of himself, he needed to be honest and do what made him happy.

  “Josh works out at one of the boxing centers. He’s been doing that for so many years, he must have an iron jaw by now.”

  “That could explain why all he did was stumble and that was probably because I surprised him instead of hurting him in some way.”

  They laughed and Erin seemed to lose even more of her tension. Ryan could see what kind of beauty Erin would have been if life hadn’t beaten her down so early.

  “You remember Morgan and Vance, my bouncer friends from the first club I worked at?” Josh asked Erin.

  “Yes.”

  “They were with me when you called. They own a personal security business now which includes bodyguards. Morgan’s going to send up two men to keep an eye out around here. No reporter’s getting that close to you and Pedro again, and also, if for some reason Geraldo figures out where you are, they’ll keep you safe from him as well.”

  Fear flashed in her eyes and Ryan watched the weight of her troubles crash down on Erin again.

  “Do you think he’ll figure out where we are?”

  Her glance shot to the hallway Zorro had disappeared down earlier.

  Josh shrugged. “I wish I could tell you no, but I told you I’d never lie to you and I won’t start now. I just don’t know, Erin. All we can do is prepare for the worst and hope for the best.”

  Standing, Josh followed her gaze with his own before going to kneel in front of her. He took her hands and smiled at her.

  “Eight years ago, I promised you I would take care of you and Pedro. I’m not going to break my promise now. You’re my family and my world. Geraldo is a sadistic bastard who deserves everything he got. He certainly never deserved you or his son.”

  Tears welled in Erin’s eyes and she grabbed a hold of her brother, hugging him with all her strength. Ryan blinked tears from his own eyes and stood, moving quietly toward the kitchen. He didn’t want to interrupt the emotional moment between siblings.

  His family was close and he knew he’d do anything for his sister if she needed him, but whatever Josh and his sister had gone through had created bonds of steel between them that nothing would break. He hoped his problem wouldn’t bring any more trouble down on Erin.

  He stepped into the kitchen and stopped. A small brown-haired boy sat the table, rocking back and forth, mumbling to himself. Ryan couldn’t make out the words, but he didn’t think the boy was talking to him anyway. Zorro rumbled a deep warning in his chest.

  Spotting a cup and a bottle of purple juice on the counter, he said, “Would you like a cup of juice?”

  The boy didn’t say anything, so Ryan took his silence to mean yes. He poured out half a cup and set it in front of Pedro, for that’s who he supposed the boy was. Another low growl from Zorro caused Ryan to back off and lean against the counter. There was something off about Pedro. He never even glanced at Ryan, just kept rocking and mumbling. The only other movements came when the boy took the cup and drank from it before reaching down to pet Zorro. Maybe that was the best place to start a conversation with him. Erin said Zorro was Pedro’s best friend.

  “Nice dog you’ve got there.”

  The mumbling stopped, but the rocking continued, slightly slower.

  “I used to have a dog back when I lived with my parents.” He kept his voice low and gentle. “Baxter was a mutt. He had big floppy ears like a Bassett hound and this odd curly coat like a poodle. The strangest-looking dog you’d ever seen. He was a scaredy-cat as well. Not tough like your pit bull there.”

  “American Staffordshire Terrier.”

  He managed not to move or act surprised when a soft voice answered him.

  “Is that what Zorro is? I didn’t know that. My name is Ryan and I’m a friend of your uncle Josh.”

  “Ryan, who are you talking to?” Josh came into the kitchen and paused. “Oh Pedro, I didn’t know you were up. Did you get yourself a glass of juice?”

  Pedro didn’t answer and Josh shot Ryan a questioning glance.

  “The juice and a cup were out when I got in here, so I poured him some. I hope that was okay.” He didn’t want to overstep his bounds with Josh’s family.

  “He didn’t freak out when you gave it to him, did he?”

  “No. He was telling me that Zorro is an American Staffordshire Terrier.” He smiled. “I didn’t know that. I thought all pit bulls were pit bulls, not a specific breed.”

  Josh grinned and bent to pat Zorro. “This dog is the only thing Pedro will talk about. They love each other so much.”

  “It shows. Hey, could you show me where I’ll be sleeping? If there isn’t room here, I can go back into town and get a room at the bed and breakfast we passed on our way here.”

  It was time for him to disappear for a while. Ryan was an intruder in this family and he didn’t want them to feel uncomfortable around him. Something told him that Pedro didn’t deal with strangers or changes in his routine.

  “Don’t be stupid. You can share the room I use when I come to visit, if you
don’t mind sharing a bed with me again.”

  Ryan’s cock grew semi-hard at the thought of being wrapped in Josh’s arms again, naked and warm under the blankets. He cleared his throat.

  “I don’t mind sharing.”

  A matching gleam of heat flashed in Josh’s eyes before he turned, gesturing for Ryan to follow him. They went down the hallway to the very back of the house. Opening a door, Josh allowed him to enter first.

  He strolled in and hesitated, turning to face Josh only after he heard the door shut. Josh cupped Ryan’s ass and pulled him gently to him. Their bodies pressed tight together and he moaned silently as Josh kissed him.

  Rubbing his hands up and down Josh’s back, he absorbed the firm touch of his lover’s lips. Ryan opened, letting Josh sweep his tongue in and relearn every tooth. He shivered as Josh sucked on his bottom lip.

  They only pulled apart when both were panting for breath. Josh held his face and rubbed a thumb over his swollen lips.

  “Thank you,” Josh whispered.

  “For what?” Ryan didn’t think he deserved thanks for anything.

  “For coming here with me and for trusting me, even though you don’t really have any reason to.” Josh rested their foreheads together.

  Ryan let his shoulders lift in an abbreviated shrug. “It’s my fault all this shit is happening, so it’s the least I could do.”

  He paused for a second. Should he say what he’d been wanting to admit for a couple hours now?

  “Even if this didn’t have anything to do with me, I’d still want to be by your side helping you.”

  Josh’s dark eyes burned into his and read every inch of his soul. Ryan couldn’t hide, even if he wished to.

  “I feel the same way.”

  Another soft brush of lips on lips and Josh stepped back.

  “I’m going to talk to Erin for a little bit, get her calm and settled again. Our bathroom’s through there.” He nodded toward a door on the other side of the room. “Pedro gets his own bathroom. He can’t stand anything touched or moved in his.”

  “No problem. Is there a toothbrush I can use?” Ryan moved away, letting Josh go back to dealing with his family.