War Page 8
Russell moaned and wiped his trembling hands over his face. “There was so much blood. It got in my eyes so I couldn’t see. I could taste it on my tongue. Nothing I did seemed to make it go away. Jimmy was laughing right before the fighting started. Next thing I remember he’s lying on the sand beside me, and I could tell something wasn’t right.”
War sat on the floor next to Russell, and took Russell’s hands in his. “Seeing a friend die is the hardest thing to deal with. I know. I’ve seen it more times than I’d like.”
He tightened his grip as Russell tugged, trying to get free.
“The medic who came over to help him called for a medevac. I turned to say something to him and bam. He caught a bullet in the head, coating me with his blood and other stuff. Sometimes, I relive it all night long. I wake up, crying and wiping my face and arms down. Trying to get rid of the blood.”
Russell shuddered and War squeezed, reminding Russell that War was with him.
“I hate the medicine because it keeps me from feeling anything. At least while I’m losing control of my mind I can still feel fear, anger, guilt, and sadness. When the drugs kick in, I don’t feel anything. I mean, my parents could be blown up in front of me and I wouldn’t react.” Russell grimaced. “I don’t like that.”
Easing up beside Russell, War slipped his arm around Russell’s waist and urged him to lean on his shoulder. Russell rested his head on War’s chest with a sigh. His hands still twitched, but not as badly as they had earlier when the flashback first came over him.
“Is the pill kicking in?”
Russell shook his head, nuzzling closer to War. “Not yet. Your voice is taking the blood away.”
War winced, but kept his doubt out of his voice. “I guess that’s a good thing.”
“It is a good thing. Maybe if you stick around, I can stop using the medicine so much.” Russell sniffed. “You smell good, like home. Grass and warm summer days.”
“So I’ve heard,” War muttered.
Russell stiffened and pushed away from War, wobbling slightly as he reached out and knocked War’s hat off his head. War made an effort to catch it, but he didn’t put it back on. He tossed it over to the other side of the room.
“What are you doing here?”
“No.” War reached out and pinched Russell.
“Ow!” Russell rubbed his arm. “What did you do that for?”
War shrugged. “Wanted to show you you aren’t dreaming. I’m not a figment of your imagination. I’m sorry that I made you think I was.”
As War watched, Russell’s eyes glazed over and he glanced away as if a shiny red ball distracted him. The pill kicked in and War could tell he wasn’t going to get anything else out of Russell. He pushed to his feet and bent to help Russell up.
“Why don’t you undress and climb into bed? You have to be tired from all the travelling.” War didn’t wait for Russell to answer him and started to strip him.
“Wait. I need to call my parents and let them know I got here okay,” Russell mumbled.
“Do you really want them to know you ended up having to take medicine the moment you showed up?” War pointed out. “Your dad might be tempted to come and get you.”
“No. I don’t want him here. I need to do this alone.”
Russell fell into the bed and let War do whatever he wanted with him. After stripping him and being good about not ogling Russell, War tucked Russell into bed. By the time he’d finished, Russell was asleep. He leaned over to brush a kiss over Russell’s forehead.
“Don’t leave me,” Russell whispered.
Pulling back a little, War met Russell’s sleepy gaze. “As you wish.”
He took off his shirt, but left his jeans on. He wasn’t wearing underwear and he didn’t think Russell wanted to wake up to a naked man in his bed. It didn’t matter if Russell had invited him there. Russell wouldn’t remember it when he woke up.
War slid under the blankets. Russell grabbed War’s arm and rolled on to his side, wrapping himself up in War’s embrace. Closing his eyes, War tried to remember the last time he’d shared a bed with anyone. He’d spent most of his time alone, only going to one of the big cities in the world to find company when he got lonely enough. He’d never thought of spending the night with any of his one-night stands.
It had to have been twenty years since he’d had a serious relationship with someone. It was easier to be alone than to deal with other people, having to lie to them about who he was and what he did. Sometimes it didn’t matter, but if the person wanted more than a one-time thing he walked away. After watching his last lover die from old age, War had retreated to the steppes and ended up not opening himself up to the chance of having another lover die on him. Of course, he didn’t remember ever making a vow out loud to stop risking his heart.
Over time, it’d been easier to walk away than to make the effort to get to know a potential lover. Easier to deny any chance of love happening before taking a chance on losing another person he loved. He’d never been much of a risk taker, not even when he’d been alive and a war chief. Yet rushing in without looking had got him where he was, the Horseman of War, and his heart didn’t seem to be listening this time to his orders not to get attached.
Russell muttered something, but War couldn’t make the words out. He tugged Russell closer to him and buried his face in Russell’s curls. Closing his eyes, he drifted on the sweet scent from Russell’s skin. He didn’t need to actually sleep. Horsemen didn’t get physically tired, though mentally it was the most exhausting job he could ever think of doing.
As War relaxed, memories emerged to taunt him about the worst decision he’d ever made. Images of the dead lying in piles around the battlefields, waiting for the funeral fires. The sounds of battle and the screams of the dying rang through his head. The accusing gaze of the boy who’d stabbed him burned brightest in War’s mind. It was the image he saw every time he closed his eyes and the only one he could never banish with a simple shake of his head.
God, he hated the thought of what he’d driven his murderer to do. He’d often wondered what had happened to the boy. Had he got caught or had he got away to live a full life with children and grandchildren surrounding him? Did the boy remember the man he’d killed in revenge? Had anyone remembered Baqir or had the memories faded over time until no one remembered his name?
Russell patted War’s arm. “You should sleep. I can feel you thinking so hard my head aches. I’m sure it can wait until tomorrow.”
War snorted. “Trust me, nothing can solve my problems. I’ll try not to disturb your sleep.”
He nuzzled Russell’s neck and placed a gentle kiss there. Russell sighed and his breathing evened out, telling War he’d fallen asleep. War remained where he was, wrapped around Russell even though his arm had fallen asleep and his back had begun to cramp from the position.
The time slowly passed while he stared at the wall across from them.
“Why did you bring me here?” Lam, a messenger angel, looked at Death before looking back into the hotel room where War lay curled around the mortal.
“Because I need War to come with me and he’s not going to want to leave Russell right now.” Death braced his fists on his hips and glared out over the city.
Turning, Lam faced the Pale Rider fully with a snarl on his lips. “When did I become your babysitter, Death? Do you think I don’t have anything better to do with my time than to watch over your pathetic band of emotionally crippled Horsemen?”
“Lam, you’re the only Lamb of God I trust out of all our colleagues. You’re the only one who understands why this is important.” Death studied the angel who brought the Horsemen their orders.
“Ah, you’re wrong there, my comrade.” Lam stuck his finger up in the air. “I don’t know why this one mortal is important. Any more than I knew why the last one was special. They’re mortals, and, while it is my job to worry about them and try to ensure their world doesn’t come to an end, it isn’t my job to babysit them.�
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Death shook his head. “Just do it, Lam. I’ll owe you a favour.”
Lam’s blue eyes lit up and he grinned. Death shifted uncomfortably at the smile. He hated knowing he was in debt to Lam, but he could guess how much Russell meant to War and it would be hard to drag the Horseman from the mortal’s side. What was planned wouldn’t take long, an hour or two at the most. Both sides were ripe to start the battle, but they needed a push and it was War’s job to provide the shove.
He scrubbed his hand through his hair, tugging on the ends as he stared into the room. While he knew War wasn’t asleep, it was nice to see War finally relaxed enough to close his eyes and not relive the decisions he’d made when he’d been alive. Death understood and was glad War didn’t take killing someone lightly, but it was over and done with. Nothing would bring those people back and War couldn’t change history.
“Will you do it? Time’s running out and if the fighting doesn’t break out in the next day a worse battle will in another day or two. More people will die and the beginning of the end will be upon us. Something we all fight against.”
Lam heaved an annoyed sigh. “Fine. I’ll do it. I can’t believe I’ve come to this, acting as a nursemaid to Horsemen. If my friends could see me now, they’d laugh themselves silly.”
“Considering I know for a fact you don’t have any friends, I’m not worried about that.”
Before Lam could reply, Death slid the balcony door open and stepped into the room. A softly spoken word settled Russell into a deeper sleep. Sitting up, War glared at Death.
“What are you doing here?”
“Glad to see I’m not the only one who reacts like that when I see him,” Lam commented as he joined them.
War jumped to his feet, making sure Russell was covered before moving to stand between his friend and the two men. “Having a Lamb of God with you is never a good sign, Death.”
“How would you know what kind of sign I am?” Lam folded his arms over his chest and stared belligerently at War.
“What do you want, Death?”
Death could see Lam’s annoyance with War ignoring him. He heaved a mental sigh. When would they stop acting like children?
“I need you to come with me.” He held up his hand to stop War’s protest. “I figured you wouldn’t want to leave the mortal alone, so I asked Lam to keep an eye on him while you’re gone. It’ll only be a few hours.”
“I can’t leave him alone. If Russell wakes up and I’m not here, he’ll freak out and think he imagined me. His mind is fragile enough; I don’t want to cause another break.” War glanced over his shoulder at Russell.
Death fought the need to roll his eyes. “That’s what Lam’s here for. He’ll keep an eye on Russell and explain you were called away unexpectedly.”
War started to shake his head, and Death reached out to grab his arm.
“We’re not arguing about this, War. The sooner we get to where we’re needed, the sooner you can get back here. I never understood why you and the others argue with me about going. It’s not like I’m doing this for cheap thrills or anything like that. I don’t bother you unless you’re needed.”
“It’s just that lately it feels like I’m needed all the time. When will they stop fighting each other?” War shoved his free hand through his hair and met Death’s gaze with sad eyes.
Death shrugged. He didn’t have the answer and he wasn’t sure War even wanted one. Lam coughed, drawing their attention. The blond grimaced.
“It’s in their nature to fight for power and money, or even just for land. It’s what having free will has done to them. They seek to be more than they are, and for some reason they believe hurting each other will give them what they want. It’s one of those things making them mortal.”
“Maybe, but it doesn’t mean I have to like what their nature makes me do.” War jerked his arm away from Death and turned to look at Russell. “You’ll take care of him. Make sure he knows I’ll be back and that I didn’t abandon him.”
Lam strolled over to the only chair in the room and sprawled in it, legs stretched out in front of him and hands resting on his stomach. “I’ll do just that. Not sure how he’s going to take knowing the guy he slept with is the Horseman of War, but if you want me to break it to him I will.”
“No!” Both War and Death shouted while Lam smirked at them.
“Just let him think I was called away on business, which is true, but don’t give him any other information. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” War leant down and brushed a kiss over Russell’s forehead.
“Such a touching scene.” Lam waved his hand at them. “Get the hell out of here. I don’t have all day to waste babysitting your lovers, War.”
War flipped Lam off before he stepped out on to the balcony. Death rolled his eyes in Lam’s direction.
“Try not to be a smart ass when Russell wakes up. He has enough issues without having to deal with your snarky mouth.”
Lam touched his chest with his fingers and grinned. “A smart ass? I’m never one of those. Now get out of here. Mongolia wasn’t on my bucket list.”
Death joined War on the balcony and whistled. Their horses appeared, seeming to hover in mid-air. They mounted and nudged the stallions with their heels. One leap into the sky brought a boom of thunder to shake the hotel.
Chapter Six
Russell squirmed, trying to find a more comfortable spot in the mattress. He frowned when the sounds of movement forced him to wake up. He opened his eyes, blinking in the faint evening light. The furniture blurred, than sharpened as his sleep-muddled mind shook off his exhaustion and the influence of his meds.
“Ah, I see you’ve finally decided to wake up. I thought you were going to sleep the entire night away, which wouldn’t have been a bad thing necessarily. Just really boring for me to sit here and stare at you.”
He shot straight up in bed, letting the blankets fall to his waist. A petit blond stood by the table, hands on hips, eyes twinkling. Shit, his eyes looked like Red’s, only blue instead of black.
“Who are you?”
“You can call me Lam. I’m here to let you know War was called away because of work. It shouldn’t take very long, but he didn’t want you to wake up alone. He was afraid you’d think he was a hallucination and freak out.”
Russell scrubbed his hands over his face and through his hair, hoping to erase the last vestiges of the drugs from his mind. “He’s real, then?”
“Who? War?” Lam chuckled. “Oh yes, he’s as real as you and I are.”
“Doesn’t mean anything since I think I live in my head most of the time lately.” He started to climb out of the bed before realising he was naked. “Could you toss me a pair of shorts from my bag?”
“Sure, but you don’t have to be shy around me. I’ve seen naked mortals before. You don’t have anything I haven’t checked out.”
Lam threw him a pair of sweats and Russell slid them on without flashing Lam any more skin than he had already seen. After leaving the bed, he headed to the bathroom. After he’d washed up and splashed cold water on his face he rejoined Lam in the main room.
Lam sat at the table, uncovering dishes of food. “I took the liberty of ordering room service. I didn’t get anything I couldn’t pronounce. Didn’t want to take a chance on eating something that’ll make me sick. When War gets back, he can give you a tour of the native cuisine.”
Russell didn’t know what to do, so he sat and accepted the plate Lam handed him. “You’ve never been to Mongolia before?”
Lam wrinkled his nose. “Not to knock the country, but, really, who wants to travel to Mongolia? Not much here but grass and horses. I’m interested in something way more fun than that.”
Taking a bite, Russell refrained from commenting on what Lam had said. He swallowed before studying Lam. “Do you work with War?”
“Hmmm…in a way. I guess you could say I’m in a separate department from him. We sort of do the same thing, but in different ways.” Lam chewed
and reached for the bottle of wine. “You want a glass?”
Russell shook his head. “No. Alcohol messes with my meds and I end up sleeping far longer than I want. Where did you say War went?”
“I didn’t, and I can’t. He had to leave, but he’ll be back in a few hours.” Lam sipped his wine. “I suggest you stay inside tonight and wait until War gets back before you journey out into the city.”
“Why? I can take care of myself.”
He ducked his head when Lam lifted an eyebrow in doubt at him. Okay, so he hadn’t done very well on his first day in Mongolia and he hated the fact that he’d had a flashback. Before the war he’d been normal and able to deal with everything thrown his way. Now he was broken in some deeply fundamental way, and maybe he was crazy to think he could travel on his own.
“When you’re done eating, you should call your parents to let them know you made it here all right.” Lam nodded towards the nightstand where Russell’s phone sat. “They’re probably worried about you by now.”
“Shit!” He jumped to his feet and snatched up his phone. “I told War not to call them because I didn’t want them freaked out about the flashback. They wouldn’t have been happy about a stranger calling them.”
Russell dialled his parents’ number before walking out on to the balcony of the hotel. He looked out over the city while listening to the phone ring. What time was it in the States? Checking his watch, he saw it was going on ten in Mongolia.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Mom, did I wake you?” Russell propped a hip on the railing and closed his eyes, happy to hear his mother’s voice.
“No, honey. It’s around nine in the morning here, so your father and I have been up for an hour or so.” She laughed. “He’s out mowing the lawn at the moment. Did you want me to get him so you could talk to him?”
“That’s not necessary, Mom. I just wanted to let you know I got here okay. Landed about five hours ago and ended up taking a nap. Probably wasn’t the smartest thing I did because of jet lag and all that, but heck, I needed the rest.”